Always feels nice to open the seal of a brand new shining Marlboro lights....even better to take an ivory stick out of it and light it with my age old zippo - whole lot of memories associated with it....and probably one of the many reasons why I smoke....
Aah !!! there is my special rock....nothing extravagant with the shape or location, just that, it has given me company for the last 20 years....every weekend, when I have nothing else to do....when my office-mates give me a break - one which I don't need but can't make them understand why....I took out another stick of my favourite brand and torched it from the nearly-extinguishing butt....
Sitting there for hours and watching the never-ending waves has become an integral part of my not-so-happening life....the rocks, the waves, the shore, even the cool breeze have all accepted me as one of their own....they had to....20 years is a long time....
I have been torching for quite a long now....but this time, under the influence of my subconscious mind or may be because of all the memories of my past, I just threw the butt aside....now I have to use my zippo again - yeah....the zippo....
Three hours have passed by....and like every time I sit here, I didn't realise it....the sun going down at the horizon....spreading its golden orange hue everywhere....the chirps of the birds ceasing into eternity....making way for the waves to become louder....louder than never before....the setting sun falling on the rocks and creating a painter's paradise - a beautiful playground of light and dark - if you are actually in that mood....I guess I am not....I have never been....not since I remember....few clouds hovering over the endless shore....taking different shapes and figures and faces....why faces ??? why every time an abstract object takes the shape of a face, it happens to be the face we know....the face we want to see....or rather we don't....
I remembered to torch this time....clearing the smoke from my first puff, I looked up....just to realise that it has become quite dark now....no face visible....I don't know whether to be happy or sad....I just thanked the darkness....for reasons not known to me....
The wind getting stronger now....chilling me to the core, each time it strikes....lighting the last cigarette with my zippo again, and leaving the empty packet aside, I started to walk....walk away from my past....walk back to the life I have been living for the last 20 years....
People say its chain-smoking....I call it the same....but may be, somewhere down there....deep inside my hollow heart, I have a better word for it....still searching......
